„You need to have clear ideas of what You want to express,
words will come easily”.                                                         
Catone

Being in harmony with others, knowing how to ask for what we want, expressing own emotions; overcome the aggressive interlocutor and act in assertive way. These are some capacities of effective communicator.
To communicate effectively we need to know the functioning of interpersonal communication and apply actively effects of our discovers, without any expectative, and not become discouraged by failures.
The examples of famous discoverers, like Edison or Archimedes show how hard we have to work to achieve something, basing on idea: „If you want to straighten one thing you have to distort it more”.
In our case, if we want to learn speak strategically, we have to find all the way to fail (but not apply it), before winning. We learn on our errors. This way of thinking is a base of brief strategic advanced model developed in last twenty years of research of G. Nardone and his collaborators from the Brief Strategic Therapy Center.

So:

Ask instead of confirm!
Ask for an explanation instead of confirm the obvious things!
Elicit emotions instead of explain!
Act more often, then think!